*If corn oil comes from corn, Where does baby oil come from?
*If a brown cow eats green grass why is it's milk white?
*How do you get off a non-stop flight?
*If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
*Why do people say the alarm went "off" when it actually sounded like it was "on"?
*Can it be a mistake that "desserts" gives "stressed" spelled backwards?
*Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
*Do fish get thirsty?
*Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
*Do penguins have knees?
*Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
*If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
*If a man with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, would it be considered a hostage situation?
*If a turtle does not have a shell on, is he homeless or naked?
*If a vegetarian is someone who eats vegetables, what does that make a humanitarian?
*If nothing sticks to Teflon how do they stick Teflon to the pan?
*If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
*If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
*Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
*Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
*Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
*Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
*Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
*Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
*How can someone "draw a blank"?
*How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
*How is it possible to have a civil war?
*How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
*How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
*If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
*If a man speaks and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
*If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
*If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
*If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
*If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
*If God sneezes...what should you say?
*If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
*If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
*If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
*If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
*If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
*If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
*If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
*If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the iside of the tube?
*If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?
*If you bear a child, why do you have a cow?
*If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
*If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the driver end up owing you money?
*If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out?
*If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain?
*If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly?
*If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
*If you take a shower, where do you put it?